Tuesday, May 19, 2009

How Shall we then live?

Another sudden and shocking death has rocked our hearts in the abbey home. The day before mother's day the girls and I were reading around the pool when aunt cherie (Chris's sister) called on Sami's phone. "I need you guys, it looks bad. The doctors say only a miracle will keep Doug alive through the night..." Within two hours we loaded up the van and headed for Vegas where Cherie and her husband had been vacationing. But we only made it as far as flagstaff when the call came that Doug had 'gone home'. So we went home to Temecula where all the children were born, where we all first met doug, and where he and Cherie had created a life of love and laughter together.

We stayed for a week. It wasn't long enough. Speaking to Cherie tonight makes me long to go and stay with her to help her through these exhausting days and long sleepless nights. There is so much to be done, I've observed, in the weeks following a death. No time, really to let it all sink in. And it is easy for those left behind to feel so overwhelmed.

Yesterday as I was worrying about future issues I was impressed in my spirit that I did not need to spend the energy in negative thoughts about what the summer may hold. Rather, I am only asked to "do the next thing" - that which is right in front of me, and the rest will be revealed in God's time. And so that is what I am trying to do. Rest in the moment of nowhere... because that is where He is - Now and Here.

And I can't help but ponder at this time how I would want to be remembered after I "go home" How Shall WeThen Live, knowing that the end could come any moment? In fact, I'd like to challenge fellow bloggers out there to post about that very thing. At the very least it reminds me for this moment to savor those I love and as Doug's brother-in-law so eloquently put it at his Memorial service - "always tell them you love them, and live in a way that would make your parents proud".